“I firmly believe in using a lawyer for wills,” Pankow says. Besides making sure the document is valid, she points out, “Even if you do it yourself, you still need to have it witnessed to make it legal and binding.”

That doesn't mean you have to use a lawyer from square-one, though. There are a variety of low-cost and free software and instruction manuals that can lead you through the process. Pankow says these can help you get your thoughts together and accomplish a lot of the legwork a lawyer would otherwise charge you for.

Even with a valid will and everything ship-shape, Pankow says it's common for folks to be more casual about transferring their non-titled property. Think here of everything else you own, from valuable family heirlooms, to the new pair of socks you treated yourself to last week. Think of items with little intrinsic economic value that have priceless sentiment attached to them.

In fact, when instructions for the distribution of non-titled items are ignored or lacking, Pankow says it can lead to relationship-ending divisiveness within families.

“Mom said if she ever died, I'd get this,” says one.

“No she didn't. And even if she did, I'm the oldest, so I have the say,” says another.

Toddlerhood and adolescence all over again.

That's one reason Pankow advises folks to include instructions for distributing non-titled property in their wills.

“The North Dakota probate code provides that a person may refer in a will to a separate list disposing of tangible personal property (not otherwise disposed of in the will). However, this list cannot include money, evidences of debt, title documents, securities or property used in a trade or business,” explains Pankow. “The list — separate from the will — must identify the items with reasonable certainty, state who is to receive them and be dated. It must be either in the handwriting of the testator or signed by the testator.”

Even if state code doesn't allow for such a listing, Pankow says it could be included with another document she recommends — a letter of last instructions. As the name implies, this is a letter to the lawyer or executor telling the family your last wishes. It could include everything from telling your heirs where to find important documents, which insurance policies and creditors to contact, a list of how you want property divided that's not part of the will, to your philosophy and hopes for how the family business is carried on, or isn't.

Pankow emphasizes, “A letter of last instructions is not a substitute for a will, but it does eliminate uncertainty and confusion when death occurs. It enables the survivors to handle financial affairs in an orderly manner. It can also help individuals get a clearer picture of their own affairs, as well as remind them where important papers are located.”

For anyone worried that a will made today could turn out to be a mistake tomorrow, Pankow points out that testators can change or revoke their wills at anytime during their lifetimes, as long as they remain competent.

“This allows the testator the opportunity of changing a will to keep it in line with changes in circumstances, tax laws or family situation,” says Pankow (see “Time to Review Your Will” page 27).

Don't just start crossing out words and adding Aunt Mabel's name, though.

Pankow explains that wills can be amended with that are called codicils. These are supplements or amendments to a will, which must be executed the same way as the will in order to be legally binding.

Like the will itself, that means these codicils must be self-proved. This is an affidavit signed by the testator and witnesses that verifies the testator wanted to make the changes, or make the will to begin with.

“A will should not have words or statements marked out or added. They are ineffectual and may destroy the entire will. If major changes are desired in a will, it is better to revoke it and make a new one,” Pankow says.

Any time your family or financial situation changes, you should review your will. According to Debra Pankow, North Dakota State University Extension family economics specialist, such circumstances might include:

• birth of a child
• marriage or divorce
• death of a beneficiary
• substantial changes in the value of any property
• moving to another state
• the executor no longer able to serve
• the guardian no longer able to serve, or is no longer needed
• changes in the tax laws
• acquiring additional property
• a desire to change the status of beneficiaries.

• More information from Kynda Curtis can be found at www.unce.unr.edu/publications/FS06/FS0610.pdf

• More insight from Debra Pankow can be found at www.ag.ndsu.edu/pubs/estate.html

• The American Bar Association has a Web site with answers to questions such as what happens if you die without a will, what a will does and doesn't do, and how to execute a will. Go to www.abanet.org/rppt/public/intro-to-will.html